My Young Love: unrequited but still cherished

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It is weird that with the passing of the years there are events and circumstances in our lives that we seldom recall, almost forgotten, blurred by time and human frailty. And yet there are those that shine like blazing beacons in the dim gloom of our memory; they may be momentous events or just simple yet nourishing occasions or personalities that gave shape to our lives and gave reason to our being. One such memory that still blazes strong and bright was that of my first love.

 

It was unrequited, true – it was love unanswered and unwelcomed, and yet it was love that still nourishes me in times of sorrow and regrets, in times of apathy and disillusionment. Maybe it is the thing about young love, it is purer and more selfless, it is kinder and sweeter, and uncomplicated as well as undemanding. I was six years old when I first met her, she was my Grade 1 classmate, and yet with a heart so young there lodged within me the seeds of admiration which slowly blossomed into love. Sadly, my family transferred to a neighboring town during the last months of classes, the feelings I had for her made the transfer all the more difficult for my young self. I pined for her.

 

The years passed and it was my first day in high school. I heard a familiar laughter, it sounded richer and more melodious, but it was still that same laugh; laughter full of merriment and relish for life. It was her. The same haircut, the same smile, even the same cute button nose. It was her, gods be praised, it was her!   I could hardly speak; I could hardly mumble a word, not even a curt and forced “hi” would come out from my stiff lips. Questions started popping like popcorns in my head. Does she still remember me? What should I say? What should I do? Does she still remember me? Should I approach her? Does she still remember me?

 

She did remember me, but to be honest, it was only after I reminded her. Pathetic, maybe, but for me it is better pathetic but remembered than cool and yet forgotten. Ah, the foolishness of young love, it could be heart cringingly horrific, and yet through the lenses of time we view them with melancholy accompanied by a silent whisper of “good times”. I did court her, tentatively at first, shyly moronic at best.

 

Four years, from our second year in high school up to our first year in college- that’s the length of time I tried and failed and tried again and then failed again and tried again and so on and so forth. She was the first girl I courted, and like most first tries, I failed miserably. And yet those four years were a time of bliss, a time of happiness for me. Each let down maybe painful and heart wrenching, but each moment with her… each touch… each shared word.. each are treasures that gave value to my young life. Maybe it was my fault. Maybe I am just not her type. Or just maybe that fat cherub with the tainted arrows was just too lazy to poke her with one damn shot of Love. Ahhh, so many maybes but I loved her, she loved me; I loved her romantically, as Romeo loved Juliet; she loved me as a friend loving another, as Hermione loved Harry.

 

She was pretty, with a cute smile that even now when age and experience had already taken its toll still brings a smile to my weathered lips when I do recall. And yet it was not her prettiness that took me away. She was no supermodel material to be sure, it was something else that took my breath – something which that at that time my young mind could scarcely yet comprehend. Only as years passed that I come to realize that which made my heart flutter back then. What I admire most in her was her zest for life; her vibrancy permeated my docile and indolent nature, she was a fiery torch compared to my flickering candle. She was someone who takes life as something to be lived with joy, and yet she was not flippant; she was energetic bordering on hyperactive and yet she still comes off as mellow with a lady like composure; she was a mystery and yet the answers were displayed for all to see; she was a riddle waiting to be answered. Alas, the answer was not me.

 

We still talked and messaged each other from time to time, even though she and her family already moved to another country. I came to realize that I might not have her as mine and she might not have loved me as I loved her, but the things we share, the friendship we were able to nurture, those will stay with me forever. Her personality is infectious; because of her I was able to make many realizations and many transformations, in her own little way she helped mold me and made me grow stronger.

 

I might not be an ideal boyfriend for her, but as it turns out, she was the ideal person to help me grow out from my shell. I was shy and insecure and foolish before she came, and now I would like to think that I became better, more confident, outgoing, and maybe foolish at times still, but overall, definitely someone better than I used to be. She was the much needed manure to my growing tree, a fertilizer that may look and smell bad, but nutritious and life boosting. She was my young love, unrequited but still cherished for           she nourished me.

How to Get Over a Breakup

Life is bitchy, and one of its quirks is a seriously nasty breakup. I guess, there never will be anything more infuriating, painful and deeply soul wrenching as breaking up with someone whom you deeply care for. Well, that is, unless you’re one hell of an asshole and you’re just in it to get laid or worse, for the money.

 

However, let us not dwell on the pain and the suffering it causes, because I am sure that if you are reading this then you are very much familiar with that already. There are so many ways to get over anything as long as you do not lose hope that you will come out standing despite it all. First thing that you must realize is that even if there are some benefits to having a relationship, there are also a bucket full of joy in being single and available!

 

 

Being single after all gives you the freedom to finally find a Mr. Right.

The World Is ONE BIG BUFFET for you!

 

Here are my Top 4 How to Get Over a Break Up advices:

 

4.            Don’t go back to the old you!

Use this opportunity to form yourself into someone new, someone better.

The best bitch slap you could give to the one that hurt you so much is to show him that you are better off without him. Be reborn! If you were a caterpillar once, then now is your time to be a one hot butterfly. Shed of those pounds you put on. Buy those sexy dresses that show of your curves that your ex didn’t allow you to wear in public. Be daring, be bold, be blazing in your new life, set your world on fire!

 

Enjoy life! Be someone better, brighter, and a whole lot of fun than the old you!

 

3.            Indulge Yourself:

 

While in a serious relationship we always spend more time with our partners and less time for ourselves, more time accommodating our partners than have some leisure comforts that we used to enjoy when we were still single.

Indulge yourself, pamper yourself, show yourself some love. You have more time now to do what you could not do before when you were still in a relationship. Go buy that chocolate bonbons that you always wanted your boyfriend to buy for you. Go eat out with your friends at that Thai restaurant that you always wanted to go to but your boyfriend won’t because of his digestion problems.  Go to the concert of can pamper yourself! your favorite band. Go, just go! Indulge yourself baby. Don’t wait for any man to pamper you when you when you can pamper yourself!


2.            Soul search:

Take the time out to understand yourself better; to set some new priorities, some new direction in your new life. If you want to have a new you, it is always best to have aroad map to follow and not just go blindly about. Don’t go to the road that will lead to self destruction. Find a deeper understanding of what your life is all about. Go meditate on your past mistakes and triumphs, then plan for a better future. Be strong, be full of life. It’s always a good thing to have depth in yourself.
Remember, like attracts like, if you have depth in yourself you are bound to find someone who also has depth, not the scumbag type.
1.           Involve yourself in a cause greater that you:

It is best not to focus too much on the problems and suffering in your life.Get involve into something that will take your mind off of those pains.

Focus on those that are important and that you can get results from, it is always good in our egos if we have some successes in our lives, even if how they are. Better yet do some charity work; join a cause; fight for the rights of others.

 

Do something productive.

Simple successes in life give  us the much needed assurance that we are in control of our destiny.

Be a person for others, give love and that love will come back.

 

Always remember that you are someone priceless. Never allow the pain and suffering tarnish your value and the worth of your life. Don’t allow mere circumstance to dictate the course of your life. Always put in mind that you are the captain of your vessel! Stand up! Stay strong! Life maybe bitchy, but never forget that you own your life and that you can slap that bitchiness out of life.

The Age of Deceit

During the olden times, information does not come fast nor does it come cheap. Traders and adventurers are the main sources of information for the folks back then, whenever and wherever a market is held or a traveling trader passes by a town or a village the next order of business after the buying and the selling was the swapping of news and whatnots.

Nowadays however, any common man has more information contained in his weekly magazine than what was available to someone back then during his entire lifetime. In fact, if some old dude from the Middle Ages would be transported to the future and see our modern day conveniences he would have a major meltdown, thinking all the while that the future is filled by powerful witches and wizards who sold their souls to the devil. Having the capability to talk to someone from halfway across the globe on a glowing metal cube is something very similar to fairytales where old hags have magic mirrors or casts a spell on a fire to commune with their fellow spawns of Satan.

With the speed of information being shared from one corner of the globe to another it is just with the same ease to deal out a truck load of crap along with some kernel of fact and in the same breath pass it off as the bible truth. Deceit has become more prevalent now more than ever in the whole human history (I am emphasizing “human history” here so as to respect the beliefs of those that accept as true that there are alien species that are also living among us, HINT: heavy sarcasm). This could take the form of photo shopped profile pictures on social networking sites that showed as bigger what is really small and smaller what is really big, and in its extreme form it could be propaganda being pushed by some big ass country or some organization or movement with an agenda to push.

It has never been easier to saw lies than now. Anyone could just join facebook using a fictitious name and biodata, use as profile picture a photo of some anonymous person and BOOM you have an instant fake identity which you could use to fool anyone. Others, institutions or agencies with bigger budgets, may even be able to do more fooling around than most, just imagine that with just a series of algorithms and a well funded staff they could alter what was written, read what was deleted, and deceive without us knowing.

I had a college buddy who lost upwards to 15 thousand pesos by a man posing as a hot chick. My buddy courted the “girl” on facebook, then boom, next thing we know he was actually sending the “girl” money for some reason or another (one of it was that the “girl” claimed that her father had cancer), and to think that my buddy haven’t even had met her in person yet. Admittedly, my buddy acted foolishly on this, but it still does not change the fact that this kind of swindling money is very much prevalent in one form or another today. Truth and honesty, it seems, became more of a rarity than gold and more of value. Maybe it is true, when they say that “in a time of universal deceit telling the truth is revolutionary”.